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Where do you stand?

Recently, news in the St. Louis area covered a story of teens using social media to make fun of a fellow high school student by electing her to “Homecoming Court.” When her father learned that his daughter, who struggles with learning difficulties, was elected sophomore representative, he was suspicious of her newfound popularity.  He kept her home from school for a few days and began to inquire about the process.  What he uncovered was a cruel joke set up by a group of students.  Their plan reportedly included throwing eggs at his daughter during the Homecoming parade.

I followed this story as it progressed to see how the school and community would react and was pleased that the school acted quickly to determine the truth and punish those involved.  I also learned that students who weren’t involved, as well as others in the community, were shocked and disappointed that their school was cast in such an offensive light.

Similar types of harassment and bullying are happening at schools across the country.  This behavior cannot happen without a “mob mentality.”  Instigators use peer pressure, a powerful tool, to pull off their hateful ruse.  Teens have a strong need to belong, and that can mean they tend to act with the group, instead of doing the right thing.  It is fear of being ostracized and excluded that can drive them to be part of the abusive behavior.

The homecoming story has a happy ending.  The young lady and her parents decided to go forward with her participation in the Homecoming events and everything took place without incident.  Actually, the best side of all of this was the discussion among those not involved.  The dialogue among teens, educators and parents about appropriate and decent behavior toward others is a positive effect from this negative situation.  I ask all parents (yes, even parents of kids who would never be involved in something like this), to talk with their children about what happened and why it happened.

The decision to take a stand against abusive behavior must be made before the pressure to join in begins.  It’s our job as parents to guide our kids so they will stand for the right thing, not just the group thing.

Former Missouri ICAC Commander Lt. Joe Laramie (retired) provides strategies and solutions for law enforcement and schools to address policy and training on a variety of technology and child exploitation issues.

 

Categories: Cyberbullying, Digital Citizenship

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