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Bullying in the Digital Age

I once read an article by a man (who shall remain nameless) who was frustrated about “all this cyberbullying talk.” He didn’t understand why he was constantly seeing cyberbullying in the news, and believed that bullying was somewhat of a right of passage.

He admitted that he was bullied when he was younger – called names, made fun of – and believed that it was all part of growing up. After all, he said, what person hasn’t been “poked fun of here and there?” While I tried to read this article objectively, my visceral reaction stemmed from the thousands of kids I’ve talked to about their experiences with cyberbullying – something that is markedly different than casual sticks-and-stones name-calling.

In 7th grade I was called “fat” by this 8th grader I had a huge crush on. Needless to say, years later I can still tell you his name, how I felt, and how my body image was affected for years due to this one little comment.  He said it to my face after I was dared to tell him I thought he was cute, with nobody else around.

Today, scenarios like this – and much worse – play out online, via text messages, and other forms of digital communication, for hundreds of thousands of people to see, like, share, comment on, forward, and repost. All within seconds.

Cyberbullying also differs from traditional bullying in that people seem to get a newfound burst of courage when posting or texting. Presumably it’s easier to write something nasty than it is to say it to someone’s face, so kids are often the victims of horrific, graphic posts that spread like wildfire.

Additionally, once a mean comment or picture is put out there and shared, reposted, liked, or forwarded, this comment/picture is impossible to erase or take back; developmentally, many kids are not able to grasp this concept, leading to potential lifelong, damaging consequences for both the bullier and the bullied.

Not yet convinced that cyberbullying deserves all the attention it’s getting? I speak with auditoriums packed with hundreds, even thousands of kids – elementary school kids to college students – and always ask this standard question: How many of you have ever been the victim of, witnessed, or heard about someone being mean/cruel to someone else using some form of technology like the computer or a cell phone?

Without fail, almost every single hand goes up. In fact, most school administrators who contact me to speak at their schools request that I focus intently on cyberbullying.

This is not bullying as we knew it – it’s magnified, can reach thousands of people in seconds, and does not go away. As adults, we need to recognize that cyberbullying can be extremely damaging, and make constant efforts to prevent it from happening.

Cyberbullying has had tragic consequences for many kids and young adults, and must be taken seriously. While the adage “kids will be kids” may hold true until the end of time, this is bullying (as we knew it) on steroids, and is going to take an army to combat. Paying attention, asking our kids questions, and being involved in their digital lives could be all the protection we need in this fight to end cyberbullying.

Former Director of Internet Safety for the Massachusetts Attorney General’s Office and Intelligence Analyst for the Massachusetts State Police, Katie LeClerc Greer travels the country educating students, parents, administrators and law enforcement officers about technology and digital responsibility/safety.  You can learn more about Katie at: www.klgreer.com

Categories: Cyberbullying

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