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Shutting Down Fear, Opening Up Dialogue

I love challenges, and thankfully as part of the work I do, I’m faced with a challenge daily. This challenge is to convince fear-stricken parents that there is a whole lot of good when it comes to technology, the internet and their kids.

Through my work with various law enforcement agencies tailored around Internet Crimes Against Children, I fully understand and respect the risks, but maintain that a little bit of dialogue and rule-setting will go a long way in keeping families safe in this technology-driven world.

Parents often show up to my presentations on internet/digital safety with a look on their face that is a mix of panic and confusion. Many parents attend because their child never takes their nose out of their cell phone or iPad, and they’re confused as to what they’re doing. Others attend because of some unfortunate incident that happened in their household or school involving social media, texting, cyberbullying, or a variety of other technology-related events. Whatever the reason, it is my goal to educate and empower these parents, oftentimes with some very basic rules that revolve more around being a parent than they do around technology.

Not being too much older than the students I speak with, I share with parents my family background, which generally garners a lot of sympathy. I’m the first child and only girl in a family of all boys, and my father was either a teacher, principal or superintendent at each school I went to from kindergarten to my senior year in high school.

I had a bed time—not to be confused with a curfew—my senior year in high school, and I swore my Dad was the most annoying person on the planet, due to his stalker-like ways whenever I made plans. He’d first interview me about my plans, then he’d call the parents of the kids I would claim to be hanging out with and fact-check. He’d call a few times to make sure I was where I said I was going to be, and would also conduct the occasional drive-by to make sure of the same. When I got home, he’d be waiting up to talk about what I did, what went on, who was there, and occasionally ask if I had fun—even though he already knew the answer to most of these questions due to his initial interrogation and follow-up investigation.

I often wondered if my Dad had a life outside of spying on mine. However, as I look back, I was generally a good kid with good friends, I respected my Dad and rarely got into trouble because of the limits my Dad set and because of our constant dialogue. With all the questions he asked me, I didn’t dare lie because there would be no way to keep all my stories straight (and, oh ya, that little twinge of fear he was able to instill in me was also a deterrent).

What does my background have to do with technology and digital safety? It’s very simple: talk to your kids.

The internet and technology are such a huge part of their lives that it’s irresponsible as parents not to talk to them daily about what is going on in their digital lives.

Talking to them should also involve:
•    Setting rules and limits,
•    Setting them early, and
•    Enforcing them.

Kids respect and need guidelines, and this can be easily achieved by setting rules that are consistently enforced.

Most of the kids that I observe getting into trouble are simply victims of not knowing any better. So parents, teach your children well. Sit down with them, let them know what your expectations are, and check in on what they’re doing on their social networking sites, cell phones, tablets, etc. to ensure that they’re following the rules and making good decisions. While this influx of technology can be extremely overwhelming for parents, the old fashioned rules of parenting are applicable and can help keep your family safe.

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Former Director of Internet Safety for the Massachusetts Attorney General’s Office and Intelligence Analyst for the Massachusetts State Police, Katie LeClerc Greer travels the country educating students, parents, administrators and law enforcement officers about technology and digital responsibility/safety.  You can learn more about Katie at: www.klgreer.com

Categories: Balance, Educational Issues, Parenting

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